My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
