He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
