But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
