we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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