My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
