U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
