its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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