You just made me feel so damn special
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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