I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
