She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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