this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
