all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
