It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
soo... how was my night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
