Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
