You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
