i can't believe i had my finger in that
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
