i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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