Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
