My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
