I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
