This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
