now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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