I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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