or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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