I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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