ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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