he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
