I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
