i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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