a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I smell like Dick and happiness
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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