we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
