Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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