making cat noises will not fix the situation.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
