STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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