i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
