I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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