are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
