Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
