I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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