Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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