My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
