If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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