Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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