When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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