we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
God, I missed his penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
