I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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