In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
