I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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