My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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