she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
