you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
