i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
